I love this quote from Mario Batali, made during the Q&A session he did with eGullet last year.

“i am not now, nor have i ever been, nor do i harbour any false expectation of ever being, a great baker…. i can schwing a few loosely conceived fruit tarts into the abyss and am at home with cookies and brownies out of the duncan hines repertoire, but the exzacting consistancy necessary to great baking is not in my genetic puddle and i go forth, unafraid, with gina depalma (babbo pastry chef) at my side into the new world every thing she makes is my favorite thing”

May all of us who are stumped by the exactitude of pastry work schwing tarts into the abyss and go forth unafraid toward our own baking nirvana.

I don’t know about you, but I’d love to win the lottery and retire to the comfy lap of luxury. But I rarely buy tickets and the few times I have, I’ve forgotten to check to see if I’ve won. So my likelihood of winning the lotto seems somewhat slim.

But the retirementmoolah$$$ idea is still pretty attractive. So to that end, I participate in the standard Silicon Valley hobby of coming up with ideas for businesses I could start.

My friends are no different. So I wasn’t too surprised when I got an IM the other day saying, “Hey, it’s been awhile since you’ve had a harebrained business idea, so here’s one for you. What about raising escargot and selling them to restaurants?”

Now wait a minute!
1. My ideas are NOT “hare” brained. They are “intelligent” brained, a fine mixture of “left” brained analytic and “right” brained creative. Take my word for it. My ideas are GEMS.
2. Snails??
3. We will become billionaires that dwarf Bill Gates with snails? Granted, “MicroSnails” is kinda catchy.

So I argued about this for a bit and we decided she would have to foray into the slimy world of snails on her own.

But do you know what? Last week my garden snails crossed the line of acceptable behavior.

They have not only eaten ALL my freshly sprouting petit pois pea plants, they have now EATEN MY MORELS. I discovered morels growing in my side yard earlier this spring. I watched them carefully day after day, dreaming about what I’d make with them.

And the SNAILS ATE THEM.

How much do you think we’ll get for organic, pea sprout, and morel fed snails?

The weather’s been getting progressively warmer so last night we decided to do a little grilling on our tiny hibachi-sized Weber.

I was only planning to do a simple marinade for the large shrimp we had purchased but The Husband had other plans. With a gleam in his eye, he proceeded to ransack the kitchen in order to concoct Le Grand Marinade.

This included at least:
melted butter, onion powder, paprika, chile flakes, red chile oil, stone ground mustard, rice wine vinegar, brown sugar, worcestershire sauce, fish sauce, peanut & sesame oil, lemon juice and chicken bouillon.

I started getting panicky around ingredient 50, but he poo-poo-ed my concerns and kept adjusting and tasting while I worriedly sliced zucchini and skewered mushrooms.

But when we sat down to eat, I had to admit the shrimp was not bad. As a matter of fact they were delicious. By the end of the meal I was licking and sucking the empty shrimp shells trying to get at the tangy, spicy, totally addictive marinade.

Some of the mushrooms were brushed with the marinade too. Oh, they were so good!

Like most of his wild kaleidoscopic mixing sprees, it’s probably a once in a lifetime dish. After all, the ingredients and proportions would be hard enough to recreate but how do you capture the flavor of wild abandon, whimsy and inspiration?

Here’s something I don’t get. In the Star Wars series, Yoda’s 900+ years old. That’s old. That’s older than old, that’s almost a different Geological Age. But if you look at him in the prequel movies, he looks noticably younger than he does in the original movies. I mean the Queen’s going to be pregnant with Luke and Leah in the upcoming release, right? So unless her pregnancy lasted, say 300 years or something, the time delta between this movie and the original Star Wars is only like 17-25 years max. If you’re already 900 years old, another 20 years shouldn’t cause you to wrinkle up like a prune (see, this is about food)!

So what’s with the aging and extra wrinkles? Were the interim years that traumatic for Yoda? Did he lose access to Botox treatments when he hid out on the swampy planet of Dagobah?

In honor of the Revenge of the Sith media clips that have penetrated my consciousness enough to remind me of this annoying tidbit, here are a few of my food related pet peeves. Please excuse my bad writing in advance. Dwelling on annoyances make my fingers incoherant.

Why do we have to switch hands when we use a Fork and Knife during a meal?
I don’t think they make this utensil switch in Europe but this just means they end up using their fork with their non-predominant hand. For example, if I were eating in Germany, as a right-handed person I’d use my knife with my right hand and fork with my left.

But this is just crazy to me as the fork is the more important utensil. To get around this hassle, I just trained myself to cut with my left hand so I can continue to eat with my right. No silly switching and swapping of cutlery with every bite.

I’m not saying that everyone needs to make this change and I myself switch back to the standard method if I’m eating at a tightly packed table (to keep from bumping elbows), but believe me, this is far more efficient and seemly than the standard methods of eating ettiquette dictates.

Unless I’m at a fine-dining establishment, I almost always ask for a straw for my non-alcoholic beverage (including water). I just have a hard time trusting that those glasses are really clean around the rim.

I hate Evian water. I’d rather drink tap water than Evian. Evian is like water with no personality, like a finger without fingerprints. It tastes weirdly flat and peculiar in my mouth and I’m never able to take more than a single sip of it. I just don’t understand the allure of this stuff.

But back to Yoda… He shouldn’t be wrinklier after a few years! Swampy, humid Dagobah should have been hydrating to his delicate green skin.

On the other hand, maybe he didn’t drink enough water. Maybe they only had Evian.

My sister has never been a big fan of cheese. She’d eat those wrapped cubes of “cow” cheese but she otherwise hated the stuff.

So growing up, as the protective big sister I was (and still am), I made sure to eat her slice of cheesecake whenever our mom had the audacity to make and actually serve her a some.

After years of watching me eat my double helping, my sister started becoming suspicious.

“Maybe I should try it, it might be good.”
“It’s called CHEESEcake because there’s CHEESE in it. Do you like CHEESE now??”

“No… But this might be different.”
“Well ok, taste this. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Then I’d carefully scoop a small bit of the sour cream topping onto the fork and hand it to her. She’d nibble it gingerly. “Eew!”

“See, I’m just trying to help you out here. So shall I finish the rest of that slice for you? Mmhmm. Thought so.”

One benefit to living with someone and sharing a bedroom is your partner can
catch the nighttime gems you utter while half asleep and still dreaming. And then remind you the next morning so you don’t forget the important lessons of life that only come with REM sleep.

My husband said he walked into the bedroom late last night and I exclaimed,
“Goddamn crustaceans.”

To which he replied supportively, “Jerks.”

I only remembered this exchange when he told me in the morning.

You know what? I think those lobsters were totally trying to rip me off last night.

We’ve been living in this location for almost 4 years now and we’re still discovering the restaurants in our neighborhood. Between busy schedules and sheer laziness, we’ve fallen into a rut of going to a handful of restaurants in the area when we can’t think of anywhere else to eat.

Oddly enough (until you remember we’re lazy) though we both love Thai food, we had not identified a place to be our standby, local, fallback Thai restaurant. If the craving struck, one of us would make a red or green curry at home or we’d or travel 5 to 10 miles to eat at the ever tasty Amarin Bankok Thai on Prospect Blvd, Chez Savon (Cambodian-Thai) in Campbell or the beautiful House of Siam in Downtown San Jose.

But today we decided it was time to branch out and start scoping out the closest Thai spots. So we started with Siam Square in Willow Glen.

Siam Square looks like a former diner which has been converted into a comfortable restaurant with comfy booths for tall people (which I’m not), glass topped tables and cloth napkins. The menu lists the standard Thai in America fare I’ve grown fond of over the years.

D and I ordered a number of dishes since the plan was to try enough to make our will-this-be-our-local-thai-spot? evaluation. We also wanted to go home with leftovers for dinner.

What We Ate

Angel Wings Appetizer
2 Hot boneless chicken wings, stuffed with chicken, vermicelli noodles and assorted veggies, breaded and lightly fried. These were a bit bland and could have used a bit more salt. It was accompanied by an overly sweet & sour cucumber dip. I usually love this Thai condiment, but this version was just too cloying. Still, the dish was tasty and satisfying.

Num Tok Nuer or Tangy Beef Salad
Slices of beef marinated in lime, chile, onions, rice powder, mint leaves and scallions over crisp iceberg lettuce. We ordered mild but it was still tinglingly spicy which we enjoyed. This was a refreshing salad and as both of us were getting over colds, the spicy chile and acidity of the lime made this a rather soothing dish. Soothing the way hot soup is when you’re not feeling well.

Pad Thai
I usually only order this dish once per restaurant, the first time I visit. If it’s amazingly good, I’ll get it again but it rarely is. This version was ok but I won’t be ordering it on our next visit. It had the requisite sweet and sour flavors, but the noodles were too dense and the accompanying chicken, shrimp, bean sprouts and nuts were minimal and boring. I like my pad thai full of goodies including egg, and the noodles should be light, almost a gossamer mass, full of flavor.

Siam Hor-Moke
This was the highlight of our meal and definitely why we’ll be returning to this restaurant. D and I are both big fans of Hoa (or Hor) Moke, usually a custardy curry dish of seafood, cabbage, galangal, and basil, steamed in a banana leaf or foil pouch. This one was not made with eggs but was chock full of prawns, tender calamari and white fish, steamed in a thick red curry sauce and served with a dollop of coconut cream. Very different from the hoa moke’s we’ve had before but totally delicious.

Panang Green Curry
A perennial favorite, this one was served with green beans and pork. This was also quite good though I think I’d get it with chicken next time as the pork was slightly tough.

In summary, we accomplished our tasks admirably. We have tons of leftovers and we’ve also found a solid Thai place close to home. We’ve had better Thai elsewhere but if the curries are any indication, further exploration of the menu should reveal promising comfort food to satisfy our after-work dinner cravings.

…

DETAILS
Siam Square Thai Cuisine
1040 Willow St.
San Jose, CA
408-293-2268
Map

Lunch
M-F 11am-2:30pm
Dinner
M-Th 5pm-9:30pm
Fri 5pm-10:00pm
Sat 11:30am-10pm
Sun 4pm-9:30pm

Sorry for the long hiatus folks. First some kind of horrible flu/cold/cough knocked me out, then I was away in New Orleans on business from Sunday thru Wednesday night.

New Orleans is well known for its incredible food. Gumbos, jambalaya, seafood, muffaleta, beignets, boudin and more. Unfortunately, most of what I ate was barely edible, highly expensive convention food.

If the dried out croissant or cold cocktail bits weren’t enough to sustain me through the day, I’d order something from the expensive room service menu. Not exciting food, but solid sustenance after a full day of back-to-back meetings and evening cocktail parties.

Plus there’s definitely something satisfying, decadent and thoroughly enjoyable about ordering room service. I ordered a hot bowl of chicken soup my first night and ate it curled up in bed at midnight, crumbling crackers with abandon, knowing that I’d just move over to the fresh 2nd double bed to sleep. Crumbfree.

And my last afternoon there, I ordered the Turkey Club you see on the right, eating, packing and reading the NY Times before leaving for the airport.

While most of my culinary encounters were non-events (I only had 3 real meals in 4 days) I am happy to recommend Cafe Adelaide, an offshoot of the famous Commander’s Palace Restaurant of New Orleans. It’s located on the first floor of the Loews Hotel. I had a delicious entree of Pompano filet with oyster mushrooms, applewood bacon & gnocchi; for dessert, cappuccino mousse semifreddo with 3 little beignets dusted with sugar.

I’m hopeful that my next trip to New Orleans will be at a more leisurely pace and that I’ll have a real chance to sample some of the great flavors and dishes of this charming city.

Cafe Adelaide
Loews Hotel
600 Polydras Blvd
New Orleans, LA
$$$

Ugg, I feel like I’m starting to come down with something. D is just getting over a flu-like thingy, all congestion, coughing, upset stomach & with a touch of fever. I hope I’m not coming down with the same thing as I can ill- (ha, a pun!) afford the time off from work what with all the stuff I need to get done plus an impending business trip next week.

Hopefully, I just overdid it in the sun today. After several drizzly, rainy, gray days, stuck in a cubicle at work, craving sunshine, I spent all day outdoors making the most of the glorious weather and bright blue sky.

But my throat’s getting sore and I’m getting that odd, prickly sensation that often heralds a full fledged cold.

So what do you eat to stave off a cold? I’m not particularly hungry but could really use some ideas. I figure a good hot meal, hot bath and restful night’s sleep should set everything to rights. Here’s what what sounds good though I’m not up for serious cooking tonight:

A spicy Thai Tom Yum Goong sounds really good.

Warm & soothing Indian Dal on rice would be nice too.

I’m always craving fresh fruit. And I’m sure the extra vitamin C would help too.

Any other ideas? I’m at a loss.

Have you ever made a dish that seemed to have magical properties? Here’s one I’ve experienced.

Over the years, I’ve turned into a cauliflower junkie. I love it pureed in soups, gratins, cooked in various Italian dishes, heavily spiced in Indian dishes and even fresh, broken up into tiny florets for salads.

One day a few years ago, I found a simple preparation method on eGullet, the very popular food site & user forum. They advocated simply breaking the fresh cauliflower up and broiling it with a little drizzling of olive oil, salt and pepper.

I was hooked. The broiling/roasting brought out the sweetness of the vegetable, retaining some of the texture while softening it for easy eating. Made like this, it makes a nice (low carb!) replacement to traditional starches like mashed potatoes or rice.

But here’s the magical part. One day, I decided to eat my broiled cauliflower with a homemade tomato/marinara sauce. It was very delicious.

The next morning I woke up with the most dewy, rosy, smooth, perfect complexion I can ever remember having. I just couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror that morning. I felt very vain and full of myself.

I thought about what could have contributed to such a remarkable change. The only thing that came to mind was that cauliflower and tomato dish I had the night before.

Alas, the effect did not last long. The following morning I was back to being my own freckley self.

I’ve never gone back and tried that magical combination though I’ve had roasted cauliflower several times since. But I don’t think I’ll every forget that amazing morning transformation I still attribute to the magical dish of white & red.