Along the western wall of the Garden of Rambunctiousness grows our espalliered 6-N-1 apple tree. It only began bearing fruit on 2 of its 6 limbs over the last 2 years and it’s still trying to teach me the best time for optimal harvesting.

So for now, I employ my tomato & peach ripeness test to the fruit. To do this, I give the apple a quarter twist of the stem. If it drops off, I figure it’s ripe. If not, I leave it for another time. I know I’ve left a few of the Fujis on a bit too long by using this method but the Galas have come out wonderfully crisp, slightly sweet and counterbalanced with just a touch of tanginess.

As you can see in the picture to the right, they’re definitely on the small side but they make the perfect snack and I eat them simply out of hand while wandering about, pulling weeds, throwing snails over the fence and inspecting the rest of the dew splattered garden first thing in the morning.

We have a 3-N-1 peach tree grafted with 2 types of white peaches and 1 nectarine.

We hardly get any nectarines but always get a good harvest of peaches.

You’re supposed to thin the peach crop when they’re still very tiny to maximize the nutrients and room on the branch so the peaches will be bigger and better. Unfortunately I wasn’t as thorough as I should have been this spring so our little tree is overloaded with fruit.

Still, I can’t wait to eat them all!

So it’s been a long, chilly, rainy spring. Then BOOM just like that we get a week of sweltering, humid, hot summer weather.

My garden veggies aren’t exactly flourishing but everything is growing crazily all over the place. It’s a chaotic garden full of life: thorns, bees, snails (damn them), flowers, scents, humming birds, toads, weeds, ants and unpruned everything.

My grape vines are throwing lengthy tendrils toward the roof and the sweetpeas grew 8ft tall this year. My tomato plants are all sort of squat and short like Danny DeVito but at least each one has a few green fruit growing on it. The lavender is going nuts but for some reason many of the flower stalks are leaning to the side. I’m not sure why, could a bunch of fat bees tilted the stalks to the ground when they landed on them?

My multigrafted apple and peach trees are full of fruit which is very exciting. I didn’t put a net over the trees like I had for a few years running and so far the squirrels are being a bit more respectful than they have in the past. I’m willing to share the harvest but drew the line when they started ransacking the trees every day, taking a single bite to check for ripeness, then throwing the green fruit everywhere.

‘Cause buddy, you may be cute but DON’T MESS WITH MY FRUIT!

I don’t know about you, but I’d love to win the lottery and retire to the comfy lap of luxury. But I rarely buy tickets and the few times I have, I’ve forgotten to check to see if I’ve won. So my likelihood of winning the lotto seems somewhat slim.

But the retirementmoolah$$$ idea is still pretty attractive. So to that end, I participate in the standard Silicon Valley hobby of coming up with ideas for businesses I could start.

My friends are no different. So I wasn’t too surprised when I got an IM the other day saying, “Hey, it’s been awhile since you’ve had a harebrained business idea, so here’s one for you. What about raising escargot and selling them to restaurants?”

Now wait a minute!
1. My ideas are NOT “hare” brained. They are “intelligent” brained, a fine mixture of “left” brained analytic and “right” brained creative. Take my word for it. My ideas are GEMS.
2. Snails??
3. We will become billionaires that dwarf Bill Gates with snails? Granted, “MicroSnails” is kinda catchy.

So I argued about this for a bit and we decided she would have to foray into the slimy world of snails on her own.

But do you know what? Last week my garden snails crossed the line of acceptable behavior.

They have not only eaten ALL my freshly sprouting petit pois pea plants, they have now EATEN MY MORELS. I discovered morels growing in my side yard earlier this spring. I watched them carefully day after day, dreaming about what I’d make with them.

And the SNAILS ATE THEM.

How much do you think we’ll get for organic, pea sprout, and morel fed snails?

Did you know a sun-warmed melon on the counter will fill the kitchen with fragrance within 5 minutes? It’s true.

My second Galia of the season popped itself off the vine so we’re having melon for breakfast. Or at least for our morning snack. He’s another small guy with a wonderful melony perfume with just a hint of grapefruit.

Visited a local nursery called God’s Little Acre this morning. They were mobbed yesterday by folks who had read the same San Jose Mercury News article we did and picked their tomato plants clean, so we went home without any fresh produce. We did, however, take home several pots of beautiful Cranberry Baby daylilies (Hemerocallis) to add some needed contrast to our lavender borders.

These photos were taken at the nursery with my new Samsung a600 camera phone..

Chive Blossoms are my edible find this spring. They have a light, wonderfully oniony flavor. It seems like I’ve been eating them with almost everything - on salads, with goat cheese, sprinkled on roasted veggies, hot risotto, and more.

For eating, pick fat, fresh blossoms that have not started drying out. You’ll note that each flower “ball” is actually made up of many smaller blossoms. Hold the base of the ball firmly between your fingers in one hand, then grasp the top of the ball with the fingers of your other hand. Gently pull up to destem into individual florets. Disgard the stem and sprinkle the florets as desired.

Chives are quite easy to grow fresh if you have a sunny spot in your yard. It’s easiest to start with little plants, but you can also scatter the seeds in the spring. Once established, they will continue to grow from year to year in mild climates like mine. When they get wilty, just give them a haircut and they’ll come right back crisp and green quickly when the weather is right.

I planted our chives along the borders of each of my raised beds when we first moved into our house in 2000 and they have been growing in prolific abundance ever since. Each spring and fall I’m innundated with blossoms that eventually dry into little balls full of black seeds. Those that aren’t consumed are left to dry and if I’m feeling industrious, I’ll harvest them to give away to friends.